A life as a Gooner
Believe me when i say it was so utterly heart-wrenching when i saw and witnessed my fellow childhood team Arsenal slump to an utterrly pathetic loss against Liverpool. It was a game when all gooners would have felt gooned out, feeling that penultimate pathos that would render any catharsis useless.
Sometimes, as a gooner, we constantly ask ourselves whether Arsene really knows? Or rather i end asking myself the question of whether he should go?
Then after seeing light in the words by Gary Neville who writes so extravagently well on how Arsene has built a team like arsenal with so little financial resources, i end up feeling that Arsene is in charge of Arsenal. However, what many gooners find themselves facing today is the picture of the an uncertain future for which we cant even shed a glimpse off.
4 young signings of quality are appreciated. But what i feel is needed is that reassurance. However, that reassurance as it seems would only come to light if arsene picks up that pen and sign on that dotted line on a contract of players boasting of experience. Experience is whats needed at this stage of the game. The Youth policy isnt reaping dividends in terms of sustained success, which is the apparent lack, looking at the state of affairs the past 6 six years.
For All gooners, a daunting future lies ahead unless confidence in the team is once again instilled. Until then, we can only pray that Arsene sees the light of day.
Personal Affairs
Now, talking abou the more pressing issue of my own state of affairs. I am once again glad that the burning ballout from the IOC examination has no longer held it grip on me. But one thing, im really thankful to God for is that he has provided me with a fire that i have never experienced before in my life. Though its a great thing, i wish i didnt always have to reignite it when it grows weak, when i feel like fading out.
With the prelimary examinations just looming 3 weeks down the calendar, a daunting task awaits. I always have to pick the slack which i have been so carrying for the past one and a half years of my tenure here in ACS. In many ways, ACS has really been a growing experience for me. There are times whn i told myself i dint belong in ACS, i should have been in a neighbourhood school, living an nsk life i have so highly sought after and prefered. The more i wanted that, the more i realised that i did not belong there. Maybe i was searching for that place of belonging, for a lifestyle that i so desperately longed for. But somehow, as my stint in ACS streched to the length of a career and vocation, i find myself often coming to the realisation of my primary responsibility of being a student.
I have always longed for myself to grow up from the wishful indescisions of youth/boyhood to a man possessing a strong sense of vision and focus in life. The more i develop towards that goal, the more i see God flourishing in me, making me a better person that i perhaps never thought i would be. He has humbled me in many ways, made me recognise the fact that i have always planned towards a best-case scenario. He has always brought me to that consultation with reality, and helped me walk away with feet firmly planted in the ground.
For the passions and idealistic ambitions i have towards life, i always find myself battling my inner demmons of procrastination and inaction and burnout. I hope for that to diminish. I hope for that day, when i can say, i am no longer held bondage to these things which hold me back. Ah... that will be my new personal ambition.
What I Miss in Life
Now, as my life's direction takes that course and sets sails towards reaching that academic island of idyllic results in the very certain future admidst the storm's intensity, I find myself now looking back on the past, learning from it.
I love being guided my passion. Passion which guided me towards leading a very happy life, full with my extro-vertedness, falling into infactuations during the wrong period of life, getting led away. However, somehow these passions have formed a cornerstone of my being and i really delight in them.
Looking to the future, i see the prospect of university and national service looming ahead in the distance. For all that uncertainty, its my hope that somehow i will see a more resolute and fulfilled person as we look towards the future.
Introvertness is such a phenomenoa worth embracing. I love it :)
